No Contact
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Friday, January 1st, 2010by Kathy Krajco
It wasn’t till I went no-contact with a narcissist for months that I realized a narcissist is like a disease. Here I was, feeling better. I had been so used to feeling badly that I didn’t even realize I was feeling badly anymore. A few months without any interaction with a narcissist and [...]
Our Conflicted Feelings
Sunday, November 15th, 2009by Kathy Krajco
I think we all feel guilty at times about our feelings — or rather our lack of feeling — toward the narcissist. Something inside just dies when we confront the spirit in which a narcissist does what he or she does.
That is a confrontation with the pure will to evil. You know — [...]
6 Stages of Leaving an Abusive Relationship
Friday, October 30th, 2009(could take years or weeks – no set time frame)
1. Managing the Situation
The point at which abuse is first experienced is a crisis for the relationship,and although some women end relationships at this point, the majority do not. They find, or accept, an explanation for the incident which allows for a future. They develop strategies [...]
Self-Preservation Under Narcissistic Abuse
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009by Kathy Krajco
I don’t see how it can be so difficult for many people to see what is so wrong about denying a person (or any sentient creature) the right to use any means necessary to protect and defend themselves from abuse. All it takes is a little thought. And empathy. Just put yourself in [...]
Emotional Torture
Monday, October 19th, 2009by Anna Valerious
A comment was left on my blog a few days ago that deserves to be highlighted. Torienne left a comment on the blog post “When Your Narcissist Mother isn’t THAT Bad”. She very articulately describes the component of emotional abuse that makes it so painful and destructive. She also captures what it is [...]
The High Price of “Peace at Any Cost”
Sunday, October 18th, 2009by Anna Valerious
I have made reference several times to what I call the Cult of Nice.
. When referring to the Cult of Nice I have commented on how this ‘cult’ labels it a ’sin’ or ‘wrong’ to hurt someone’s feelings. Both Christians and secular types who’ve swallowed pop psychology seem to often subscribe to this [...]
Detaching from the Narcissist
Saturday, October 17th, 2009by Sandra Brown, MA
We’ve talked about ‘Hate’ and it’s impassioned connection to relapse. Anything we feel that embroiled about we are likely to act on.
Your relapse prevention has to be more detailed than mere feelings such as using ‘hatred’ as a way of distancing yourself from the pathological. This usually doesn’t work because hate is [...]
Enforcing Consequences is Not Revenge!
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009By Rev. Renee
Once again, I am amazed at the creativity of abusers who are trying to weasel out of being accountable for their actions. Here is another excellent question we received in a recent e-mail from a sister who is dealing with abusive parents, and the answer which clarifies this point:
Question: “Whenever I attempt to [...]
The Power of Relapsing (aka Allowing Contact)
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009by Sandra Brown, MA
Never before in my 20 year career have I seen more ‘relapsing back into pathological relationships’ than I have lately.
“What’s wrong with me? Why do I do this?” they ask.
My answer is — I don’t know… why DO you do it?
“I didn’t know what I was doing…”
Yes you did. Contact is a [...]
Indifference is to Narcissists as Bug Repellent is to Mosquitoes
Monday, September 28th, 2009A frequently visited theme is the need to cut off contact with the narcissist. There are several reasons for cutting off contact, but for those of us trying to rid ourselves of the parasitic narcissist the only reason that really matters is self-preservation. To stay with the narcissist is to be sucked dry. You stay [...]
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