Archive for October, 2009
« Previous Entries6 Stages of Leaving an Abusive Relationship
Friday, October 30th, 2009(could take years or weeks – no set time frame)
1. Managing the Situation
The point at which abuse is first experienced is a crisis for the relationship,and although some women end relationships at this point, the majority do not. They find, or accept, an explanation for the incident which allows for a future. They develop strategies [...]
Facing Facts
Thursday, October 29th, 2009by Kathy Krajco
One reason why the victims don’t face facts about a narcissist is because we don’t want to face the fact that we mean nothing to them. The ego doesn’t want to know that. For, being valued by another at absolute zero is a degrading value judgment.
When this is someone in your family, that [...]
War & Peace with the Narcissist
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009by Kathy Krajco
And so, what do you do if you cannot forgive your abuser?
What SHOULD you do? Which party is the obstacle to reconciliation here? You or your abuser?
What should you do? Just accept it. It’s a fact. Let it be. You cannot really change it: all you can do is delude yourself about it.
You [...]
How Many Narcissists Are Out There… Really?
Tuesday, October 27th, 2009Prevalence of Personality Disorders
by Kathy Krajco
I don’t understand how people could think that you estimate the prevalence of personality disorders by statistical studies of patients receiving treatment in mental health clinics.
Passing that off as a legitimate estimate is ridiculous. You can’t estimate prevalence that way. You have to take a random sample of the population.
ESPECIALLY [...]
Verbal Abuse as Damaging as Physical Abuse
Thursday, October 22nd, 2009Berating typically used for controlling others
By Stefanie Scarlett
We‘ve all heard them: the couple who scream obscenities at each other in public, the overzealous parent who berates a child for failing to catch the ball during the big game.
Examples of verbal, or emotional, abuse are everywhere: Just turn on “Jerry Springer” almost any day of the [...]
Self-Preservation Under Narcissistic Abuse
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009by Kathy Krajco
I don’t see how it can be so difficult for many people to see what is so wrong about denying a person (or any sentient creature) the right to use any means necessary to protect and defend themselves from abuse. All it takes is a little thought. And empathy. Just put yourself in [...]
A Very Hard Fact to Face
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009by Kathy Krajco
It seems to me that a malignant narcissist can’t help his or her temptations, predatory urges. Maybe they are the fruit of a lifetime of twisted thinking and therefore the narcissist’s own fault ultimately. Maybe not.
For example, if you are addicted to heroin, your desire for it today is the end of a [...]
The Narcissistic Projection Machine
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009by Kathy Krajco
Narcissists really know only a few tricks. One happens to be projection, and they practice it so much that it becomes second nature. Hence narcissists love to commit character assassination by calling the party they’re tearing down (to look better than) ‘the narcissist.’ A joke.
Where is the character assassination coming from? Where is [...]
The Truth Would Tear the World Apart
Monday, October 19th, 2009I will keep saying as long as I can type and have breath in my body:
Victims need to tell. Victims need to talk about it. The only way they move forward, heal and get validation is to tell. Not ‘get over it’ or ‘just forget about it’ or “move on” but to tell and be [...]
Emotional Torture
Monday, October 19th, 2009by Anna Valerious
A comment was left on my blog a few days ago that deserves to be highlighted. Torienne left a comment on the blog post “When Your Narcissist Mother isn’t THAT Bad”. She very articulately describes the component of emotional abuse that makes it so painful and destructive. She also captures what it is [...]